Well my new venture The Corner House is launched. A soft launch admittedly, but it’s out there. I have re-entered the world of “work” and started networking in my new home town. I have been meeting some lovely people and have ideas popping into my head for how my business will grow. All good stuff.
But this week I also met someone who had a very negative affect on my state of mind. No, lets correct that. Someone who I allowed to negatively affect my beliefs about myself. I let them in! for the first time in quite a while I felt completely inadequate, not quite up to the job, lacking in knowledge, experience and ability to achieve anything.
Since my recent training I have been blessed with confidence that I am where I need to be, doing what I need to do. Feeling strong and positive, forging ahead with my plans with no doubt in my mind that I will be successful. Just feeling this way is empowering. I have been feeling invincible!
So it was a bit of a shock to be revisiting feelings of doubt, disbelief and fear.
The good thing about my new quiet mind is that thoughts like this are soon dealt with. Set aside so that I can continue learning and growing. But I found that I was re-visiting them. Testing them out, worried that they were valid feelings.
I had little conversations with myself. The little voice in my head asked me “Do you know what you are talking about?” “Who are you to think that you can do this?” and the big one “Do you really think you can earn any money doing this? Are you worth anything?”
We all have those voices. Sometimes imaginary, sometimes real people in your life. It’s all too easy to add those voices to the busyness in your mind, let it stifle the good thoughts, stop them from flowing
So, I made a choice. I chose to not believe what this person was saying. I do not need those thoughts. They are their thoughts, they are not part of my story.
The Penny that I am becoming is resolute. Determined. With a peaceful mind and a desire to help other people. I can only be who I am. I try to always be authentic. I no longer let the past determine who I am, and I try hard not to worry about the future. It will happen as it is meant to. I am banging my own drum! Creating myself, with added sparkle!
I am what I am
I am my own special creation.
So come take a look,
Give me the hook or the ovation.
It’s my world that I want to have a little pride in,
My world, and it’s not a place I have to hide in.
Life’s not worth a damn,
‘Till you can say,
“Hey World, I am what I am.”
Great make up lessons in here too! xx