This morning Facebook presented me with a memory, a link to my blog last New Years Eve. It was called “Ctrl-Alt-Del Happy New Year!” It reflected my thoughts about the positive side of the New Year reboot process, and ended with me promising to “level-up”
(You can read it here: http://whatpennydidnext.co.uk/2016/12/ )
This time last year we did already have our sights set on Morecambe as a home, albeit a different house, and here we are, safely ensconced in a better house, the right house, our Corner House.
As I said in my Christmas Eve video message, the year has been overwhelmingly positive, and I have shared that here and on Social Media. But there have also been difficulties and some lessons to be learned. But I guess life is one long lesson. Right?
As a coach I am encouraged to set goals for my clients. Encourage them to make plans, set out what they want to achieve over the next 12 months. Those goals should be SMART – specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-based. All well and good. But the problem with a SMART goal is there is another side to it. What happens if you don’t achieve that lofty goal. Failure. We all know how that feels! It smarts! (See what I did there? Haha!)
Many of us spend a lot of time feeling like a failure. In our lives, our jobs, our marriages, parenting….you name it, at one time or another we have felt that we have failed. Its horrible, and we are so so good at beating ourselves up about our failure. About letting other people down. About not being good enough. Or slim enough. Or clever enough. Or pretty enough.
Enough for what?
For someone else’s measure of us. Most people are so busy dealing with their own perceived lack of perfection that they do not have time to worry about our feelings.
We all sit in judgement from time to time. I am guilty of that sometimes, everyone does it. We don’t always like to admit it. I think it is about making us feeling better about ourselves. Usually it is tempered with compassion. For most people our caring genes kick in and we make allowances, try and help people who need helping. That is what really makes us feel better.
I have changed direction in my “career” to help people. After my own voyage of self-discovery that is what I realised I want to do. I want to help people feel better, feel happy, find contentment, find what makes them feel good. Without judgement, and not so that I can feel better, although I will!
This New Year I will create another vision board. Last year’s board had Morecambe plastered all over it. But this year there will have be no hard and fast goals on it. The vision, the feel, is what’s important to me. I want direction, a view with no final destination. No time limit. A good feeling that I can take and run with. The way I feel when I gaze out across the pastel hues of Morecambe Bay to the snow covered hills in Cumbria. The way I felt when I walked into this house in June. The way I felt when I walked down the aisle to marry Nigel just over 9 years ago.
In each of these situations there is/was a surrender to the moment. There is no goal in that moment. I am mindful. My mind is free of unhelpful thoughts, with space for vision and promise.
So, no resolutions or goals. Simply a desire to help others, a vision of the beauty of the current moment, a belief that good things are ahead of me. I will be mindful, kind and forgiving. The other things that I want and need will fall into place. I trust the universe.
Happy New Year to you and yours from me and mine, from The Corner House. I wish you peace, happiness and vision. In 2018 relish every moment, live in the moment, for the moment.
Remember, it’s the simple things…