For my daughter….What Zoe did next!

So here I am sitting in my house with an empty bedroom, in a whirlwind you have finally packed your stuff and flown, grabbing bits and pieces that you need at the last minute and taking them with you, along with my heart. Yes, I know, we are not gone yet. I will see you tomorrow. But I am sad.

Even the Labradors look sad. The cats…well you know…

I am sorry that I cried – but as I said, you would have been disappointed if I was not upset. After all I am the mum that sobs her way through the scene in Mamma Mia when Meryl Streep sings “Looking through my fingers” to Amanda Seyfried! Too late for me to change now!

I know every mum goes through this. We bring our children up to be independent. We hope they will be brave and strike out into the world, carving out their own futures with the wisdom and humour that we hope we have shared with them throughout their childhood. But I am so sad. Proud, but sad.

There are of course some things I will not miss! But so much that I will.

I know that you have had some crap in your life, we all do, but you are learning how to put it behind you more and more. The last few months you have found your feet and I have loved watching you learning new things, stepping up to your new responsibilities and embracing your future, both with leaving home and at work.

So what do I need to say to you now, now that you are out the door? I think Pooh might say it best

Just make sure you take care of yourself, keep well.

Today I have been remembering. When you were very small but able to wrap us around your little finger, the early days after your Dad left when it was so hard but we grew together, sitting on the sofa binging on episodes of Charmed and Friends. Our shared sense of the ridiculous and other people’s dress sense. The day I married Nigel when he made a promise to you as well. Remember how much your stepfather loves you too.

You are so excited. Giddy was the word you used! A new woman with her own utilities, her own little house that you will make into a home. A particularly well equipped home full of Pampered Chef kitchen stuff and one of our sofas! And who knew just how much stuff you and Kieran had crammed into one bedroom?!! I am looking forward to coming to see you when it is all sorted out. And I will bring your laundry!

This is not the first time you have left me. The last time was wrong, I knew it, you knew it. But it was something you had to do. This time it is right, and it is time. Time for you to spread your wings and fly. Last time I wrote you a very long, very tear stained letter. This time I am going public. Look world – look at my amazing girl. She is coming to get you and she is going to be FABULOUS!

I make no apologies for sharing this song with you and my readers again. Nigel and I will always be here for you, no matter what, no matter when. Just call.

All my love, see you tomorrow!

Mum

Nickel Creek – When you come back down

You got to leave me now, you got to go alone
You got to chase a dream, one that’s all your own
Before it slips away
When you’re flyin’ high, take my heart along
I’ll be the harmony to every lonely song
That you learn to play

When you’re soarin’ through the air
I’ll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I’ll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

I’ll keep lookin’ up, waitin’ your return
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn
And I won’t feel your fire
I’ll be the other hand that always holds the line
Connectin’ in between your sweet heart and mine
I’m strung out on that wire

And I’ll be on the other end, to hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly, and if you get too high
I’ll catch you when you fall
I’ll catch you when you fall

Your memory’s the sunshine every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings

When you’re soarin’ through the air
I’ll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare

I’ll still be there
When you come back down
Take every chance you dare,
I’ll still be there
When you come back down
When you come back down

4 thoughts on “For my daughter….What Zoe did next!”

  1. Penny to one truly amazing Lady just sitting here sobbing as you have touched my deepest thought fears and emotions xx Ann Options xx

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