This blog is a great example of the Universe stepping in and giving you what you need!

My amazing mum Pam, who will be 90 in December, only gave up working a year ago. She finally has some time and has been working on her side of my family tree. My parents divorced back in the 70s when she was 40. I was 16 and my sister was 12.

I adored my dad. He was a selfish, hedonistic man who caused a lot of hurt when he made the choices he made, but I loved him. He worked in print as a typesetter and on my website you can read about the part he has played in Corner House Words, the book coaching and editing business that I began in 2020.

My Story

Dad died around 20 years ago, and at the time we had been estranged for about 10 years. There are still moments when I am filled with such a sense of loss for everything that might have been. But forgiveness is healing, and I found that space a long time ago.

Back to Mum and our family history.

It has been lovely to revisit my maternal ancestors. There are many strong women in my ancestry. Most of it I knew about already because those stories have been told often. But about two weeks ago I woke up suddenly around 2am with the thought – I know NOTHING about dad’s side of the family!

For a moment, I felt devastated and angry – it brought back that sense of loss. The feeling that we all lost out on something when dad left.

I talked to my mum, who shared what she remembered about that side of the family, some of which I remembered but a few bits of information I had forgotten.

At that point I went down a google rabbit hole – looking at all the houses we lived in when I was a child and where my grandparents lived too. It helped a little, but I had to accept that I would probably never know more. Other than my dad’s date of birth and vague memories, I had no information, nowhere to start. I allowed the yearning, felt sad and moved on.

Then last Sunday, a direct message popped up on Facebook from a lady called Sandra.

“Hi Penny, I hope you don’t mind me contacting you. I believe we are related. I think that my dad (Derek) was a cousin to your dad (John).”

I stared at the message in disbelief!

Turns out we are related, and she has LOADS of information about that side of my family! That afternoon, we had a lovely chat on Zoom, and it was the weirdest thing. I felt a sense of recognition. I found out that my uncle is still alive, and we shared lovey memories of my grandfather.

I cannot describe the sense of joy that this has brought me. It has given me something that I did not even realise I was missing! An enhanced sense of who I am and where I come from. I am so looking forward to discovering more.

A couple of weeks ago, I completed the first couple of chapters of my book, Joyfully Seeking Something. This book has been a work in progress for about three years now, but I am aiming for publication in the autumn. The book is the story of my ‘spiritual journey’ (please excuse the cliché!) and begins with memories of my early childhood. I was fascinated to discover that the feeling that writing about this brought me was an overwhelming sense of safety.

Brought up in North London by my beautiful parents, with both sets of grandparents close by, I know I was surrounded by love. Something that was forgotten in the fallout from later events.

I posted this story in a lovely Facebook group I belong to where people share their experiences of daily miracles and manifestation. (Ask and it is given: How thoughts become things)

My lovely friend Dominic Scaffidi, who created the group, looked at the picture I am sharing here and asked me a question.

‘How old are your parents in this picture?’

Dad was around 26 and mum 25, I replied.

Let that sink in for a moment.

They were so young. And I was filled with so much love for them both. Suddenly, whatever happened all those years later seemed completely insignificant. Once love like that exists, it cannot disappear. It is too powerful to dissipate.

Dominic went on to say:

‘I feel love and hope in that picture. And a future full of possibility. Just looking at the photo brings up strong emotion. I feel deep compassion for all as they moved forward and did their best to navigate the challenges that got in the way of love. Every one of those challenges was made of their own thinking – thinking that seemed more important than love. I see that they faced the same challenges we each continue to face in every moment. What thought seems more important than love in this moment?’

Beautiful. thank you Dominic for helping me see another perspective.

This morning I am sitting at my desk with delicate early morning spring sunshine creeping through my window, highlighting the vase of daffodils beside me and I am filled with so much gratitude and joy.

Love is always the answer, no matter what the question.

I am so glad that Sandra messaged me.